Welcome to the new thread!
This is not at all a fashion-based post, but something that is very
special to me. Coming to the second year with a decent GPA is encouraging and
this post sums up all the ups and downs that I experienced and what I learnt
as a fresher.
The following post is gonna be long so please bear with it and if at all
at any point, you start bringing in your biases or start getting offended, you
are most welcome to close this page. 😊
1. All the perceptions of
college life being the best post 12/14 years of schooling are false. Your life
changes, true, but college life isn’t all that jazzy or starry. You just don’t
wear your old-school uniform. That’s it. People are pretty much same (or worse)
and lecturers, well... you can’t predict.
2. All the Bollywood-imparted
ideology of having an amazing group and plans to Goa are far away
from reality. My so-called group planned of hitting to Goa ‘thrice’ in the
first year but well, we couldn’t even move beyond South Delhi. So don't expect
anything from the people you meet or even college for that matter. Just sayin’…
3. You’ll meet people.
People, with whom you’d connect, feel special and wanted, and chill with in between
the monotony of lectures (gets worse if you’re in an all-girls/off-campus
college). But don't trust blindly. People change like the seasons.
4. Your group of ‘the three musketeers’
would seem appealing and would be your motivation to survive three years but
it’s not for ever. You’ll be a part of some group. Eventually you’d leave the group by choice, either your or someone else’s. You’ll feel left and betrayed, cheated and
unwanted. But it’s okay. You can’t expect deep-long connections in the first
year. You can’t trust people in a click either. Chill and breathe, it’s fine.
5. First year is no less
than a tornado. You are baffled about your own choices, about
the course, the college, the group you
have. You will enter the phase of self-doubt. You’ll start questioning but, in the
end, choose what you love. Don’t like your course or college? Change it.
Your friends make you feel inferior or low-key down? Leave them.
Sounds easier said than done but it’s true. The happiness and satisfaction in
doing what you want and being with those who care for you is beyond words.
6. You’ll meet people
who’ll change you for the good and for the worse. Being assertive and
expressive enough is the key.
One month into the college, I was judged and looked down upon for not
smoking or drinking. People will judge you on whether you smoke, drink, get
laid, party or dress up. They’ll define you as ‘cool’ or ‘uncool’ according to
their groups. But it’s fine. You don’t need to give in or conform to what
other’s say and do if you don’t want to. You don’t need to change yourself
or adapt according to your batch-mates wish and will.
7. Never agree on
something you don’t wish to do or go for. Never. Things done half-heartedly never work out. Rather, they just ruin things and make survival tough.
Your friend insists you to accompany her/him to a party but you are dicey about
it? Your friend insists you to miss lectures and go to a certain place you
don’t want to go to? You friend wants you to smoke/drink with him/her but you
don’t want to?
So,
don’t. JUST SAY A NO.
Don’t go to that party or
go places or drink. Do what you really want to. Don’t agree for the fear of
being left out or judged.
8. Your teacher/s would
freak the hell out of you. They won’t take your submissions on time, cancel
classes at the last moment, make you feel like shit, prefer students who does
her/his personal work. It’s fine. Don’t stress over the low marks or rejected
thesis because let’s accept this, the entire education system and faculty is
wrecked and based on biases and fake things. There’s no point in whining. It’s
a farce.
9. People back-bitch, backlash, fabricate and sugar-coat things
and words. Remember telling your little secret to that classmate you were
close to and now the entire batch knows about it? Things like these do take
place. You’ll be defamed and pulled down by your own people. You’ll feel
helpless. You’ll feel hard to face them but you have to until you graduate.
So, let the people be. You can’t change them but you can definitely
change your attitude towards them.
10. Never over-apologise. Never apologise for
the things you are not responsible. Even if you are, apologise and let it go
but don’t stress and extend it. Don’t let go of your self-respect and
self-esteem in order to get that one person back in your life. Don’t apologise
and yearn for them to be back because honestly, excessive apologising and
crying would just give them a means to manipulate you and get-away with their
wrong-doings.
11. Don’t let anyone
interfere and be an intruder in your life. We all love the
people we have and care for them. We want to protect those persons and surround
them. But caring and interfering are distinct terms. Never become a nosey
person and interfere in what others are up to. Similarly, don’t let anybody
dwell into your life and make it unbreathable and toxic for you.
We all want
our personal space and freedom. Avoid people who enter without
notice and get too involved with you and your life, making it tough-er.
12. College is a diversified place.
Girls and boys from different backgrounds, towns, cities and even countries get
together at this one place. You’ll meet people who are different from
you. People, who'll make you feel insecure or over-powering and grand.
Insecure about your looks, stature, height, hair, intelligence, clothes or the
way you look.
You try to adjust in and
look as good as others, or maybe prettier/smarter than them. You’ll spend your
time and money to dress-up and be like that person or group you want to be
like. People will make you feel good or bad, you’ll make people feel good or bad.
But don’t let people you’ve just met play with your confidence, because you
deserve and are worthy of good things.
13. You’ll get close
to people you didn’t even expect of. Remember that junior from
school you never heard of? Or that senior you’ve had in school but
never interacted well with? Or the person you met at some interview for
your dream college? Or that senior from college who turns out
to be better than your classmates?
You can never predict whom do you gel up well with or get close to. Your
juniors might understand you better and care for you. That senior you made
friends with in college might become a perfect chit-chat partner as well as a
constant support and a perfect guide through three years of college.
While college friends backout or cease to understand you, you’ll always
find a handful of gems always ready to help you and be there for you.
14. College can be
sickening, especially when you don’t like the place you are in or wanted to be
somewhere else. Your only escape through these 3 years is an
additional activity beyond college.
Learn a new language, join some fashion designing class or be a part of
some theatre group or workshop. Intern with a start-up, go on adventure trips
or maybe just teach juniors or kids. Teaching is satisfying.
The ability to instil your knowledge and learnings in someone is full of bliss.
The primary happiness and respect you get is indescribable, is priceless. Do
something that keeps you busy, that nourishes you.
Everything else, credits or money is secondary.
15. No matter how many
people you meet in college, how many friends you meet or hang-out with,
your best friend is going to be there forever. You’ll shift
places, leave your home and go away, but your best friend is going to stick
through the whites-and-greys.
You’ll talk less, maybe just once a week. You won’t see each other for
days, weeks and even months. You might have virtual fights on how you’ve become
less important for them. You’ll have conflicts and varying opinions on an array
of topics and you won’t talk for a while. You’ll defend ‘your new pretty
college friend’ and fight with your best friend for her. You’ll go back to the
same best friend when people in your college demean you, break your trust, say
ill and make you cry. You’ll rant about things with the same best friend who
stayed through all your school and college phase.
People will come and go, your best friend won’t. Value them, love them.
They won’t disappoint you or never force you to do what you ought not to. They
are going to be there for you. Always and forever, so cherish your relation
with them.
16. Your parents are
right. Not always, but yes, they are at times. Parents want you to be happy,
even if this happiness comes with a cost for them. Listen to them. They won’t
force or impose anything on you that’s obvious. But deep down, they want you to
be satisfied with whatever you are doing. They become more approachable and
understanding. Talk to them, open up. Don’t like your college? Want to change
and go somewhere else? Fights and conflicts with your college friends? Feeling
of being cheated by a friend?
Talk it through.
Nobody can guide you better than them. They are willing to talk and
understand. Trust them, because they won’t play with it like your college
mates did.
17. Save. Save
your money, time, energy and resources for the worthwhile moments and
people. College life can be fancy with all the café-culture and ‘twinning with
college best-friend’ things. Nobody is going to think about or even value it as
soon as they get a new-cool-person to be with.
Priorities are ephemeral. At least in these three years.
You can’t trust or expect people you meet in this phase to stay by your
side at all times. Don’t spend what you have in order to be accepted by them,
or to be the cool kid of the group. Don’t take your friends on expensive lunch
dates or clubbing if you don’t want to. Don’t waste your time or money you’ve
earned or saved if it doesn’t make you feel happy and content.
Save your real self for the those
who are true, for those who accept you the way you are.
18. Changes are good, but
only the changes that actualise who you are. Changes that are rational and
reasonable, acceptable and fulfilling. Changing what you value, your purpose of
life or your outlook (for people) is not what you intend to.
College is a place where you get to learn and you grow. You grow and
develop as an individual but growing doesn’t involve life-based changes. Change
your bad habits, your sulking or over thinking, but not the good in you.
Not the person you are. At least not for the people you meet.
Everything has two sides and so has the life that we/you live in college. The bads and the goods align with each other and trust me, the shortcomings are important to realise the importance of bright days!
-x-
Thank you for being patient and reading if you made it till the end,
means a lot!
Edited by: Pulkit Khanna
*All the views expressed are personal and subjective and may vary
according to each individual*
